UPI - KEY LARGO, Fla., Sept. 7 (UPI) -- A Florida couple arrested for allegedly breaking into a home told officers they were looking for a place to "make out," police said. Becky Herrin, spokeswoman for the Monroe County Sheriff's Office, said a neighbor of the vacant Key Largo home called 911 just after 9 p.m. Sunday to report two people breaking into the house, the South Florida Sun-Sentinel reported Tuesday.
Can I get a new pair of Tims, cause after reading this I feel like I'm up to my ankles in BULLSHIT. As a matter of fact I feel like I can taste the absolute monkey crap from this story. Broke into someone's crib to make out? What, do you think I was born fucking yesterday? From my experiences I never felt I had to find privacy to make out. You just do it bro. Especially in school, cause then you can simultaneously gross everyone out, and make your fellow brohan's jealous cause they knew you were actually smooshing pussy at the seasoned age of 17 years old. So spare me the dog and pony act. Tonsil hockey was fair game. In the library, school bus, in between classes, the movies, your car. Fuck, I used to make out with my ex during chorus rehearsal third period everyday in front of her two older brothers. Wasn't exactly the best look for your boy but you do what you gotta do. PDA all day.
So, it's only fitting that I say something else was going on here for a couple to break into a house just to "make out." Like, you cannot tell me other dudes are gonna buy that excuse. I just finished ranting about a million and one places to hook up with your girl completely stress free so this isn't going to cut it. Just going by my brohan instincts I think I may have an idea of what happened here. Dude was sick and tired of getting over the pants hand jobs from his girlfriend. You know, they were just going for a walk. She starts getting all worked up and BAM, next thing you know she starts doing the unspeakable. Same old song and dance gets tiring for a dude not getting a legit tug, not to mention playing with a "loaded gun" is how people get hurt these days. Dude was probably like "okay fuck this." Grabs his girl in a state of temporary insanity and breaks into the first house he sees. She's so turned on by his bravado she finally makes with the heady wop. Well, it's about damn time. Had this dude known all he had to do was break the fucking law to get his chick to play his happy flute, I'm sure he would have been jay walking all over Key Largo in hopes of getting the cops attention. Whatever get's your girls panties soaked I say.
-Dbl-A
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