Nike Needs To Hire Me To Run Their Marketing Department

I happened to catch a picture of this lovely advertisement from Nike, where its rather obvious just exactly what kind of customer they are targeting. Chicks with absolute badonkadonks! Considering they are experts in workout and training gear, covering the entire spectrum of potential buyers is an important goal of Nike. I respect that. They clearly sponsor pros from almost every major sport, and guys and ladies running shoes and equipment has been some of the top stuff in the industry for years now. Nike is great at what they do. So the marketing team at Nike must have had an epiphany recently right? What other buyers are we not pinpointing? Girls with big ole' bootys. I mean, girls with big asses wanna work out too, that makes sense. How else do you expect to keep that dumper looking hot in a pair of Apple Bottom jeans? The answer is assault the treadmill in your brand new sexy Nike workout shorts, girl. You gotta love what Nike is doing here, but for one, must they put an absolute smoke show of a girl as their "I have a big butt and love it" symbol? It's both unnecessary and misleading.

This girl probably just sits in her house doing squats and jumping jacks all day keeping that perfect ass in form. You think shes stepping inside a gym for guys like Dbl-A to get all hot and bothered over the mere site of her? Hell no. She's just too fucking hot bro. Like way too hot. They couldn't get someone like Queen Latifa to do the campagin? I mean, that would be fucking brilliant. She's a big, powerful and successful woman, who loves her size. What better spokes person for "big is beautiful." Not to mention it wouldn't make all the ladies out their feel bad about how terrible their asses look compared to this sexy little minx who is gracing the ad with nothing but two inches of Nike threads on. Hey Nike, I'm looking for a full time job, holler at ya boy.

Oh, and here's another version of the same advertisement. Different picture, same problem. Nike stop being retarded and have a butt who's marketable to normal, down chicks who actually have to work hard to stay in shape. Not these fenbots who add another muscle to their six pack every time they eat a scoop of Ben and Jerry's Phish food bro.

-Dbl-A