TMZ - Devon James -- Tiger Woods mistress #428 -- was shown no mercy by a judge this morning, who threw out her paternity case against the golfer. James claimed Tiger is the baby daddy of her 9-year-old son, and wanted the judge to force Tiger to submit to a DNA test. But the judge in Manatee County, Florida dismissed the case ... partly because Devon was a no-show. Fact is ... Devon doesn't even have current custody of the boy -- her mom does.
Mark it down! Tiger Woods first major victory in months has finally happened. Unfortunately for him, it came off the golf course. Fuck that though, as any guy who has caught an episode of Maury Povich's Paternity Test Roulette knows when you get off the hook of procuring a bastard child the feeling is similar to that of winning the lotto or in Tiger Woods' case The Masters.
Tiger has gotten a lot of heat since his blasian sex fiend status went public and deservingly so. A shitty father, a horrid husband and a complete ass raping of his public image, but as The SportsBrahs know all to well, "Haters gonna hate." So let me be the first to say Congrats Bro, as it's the small victories that keep us alive. Hopefully now you can start to turn it around on the course and sink some real eagle shots.
-Suessmandzadeh
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