Thanks Alex, good thing I didn't hold my breath. Na, seriously though Yankeeland, the fanbase, and especially Arod can finally get a chance to collectively exhale after your ace bombed #600 dead center today off Jay's pitcher Shaun Marcum. When a dude like Arod is stuck on 599 like that, it seems like everything around him turns into a jinx. Everyone's on edge in anticipation for that one more dinger. Bulbs are flashing everywhere like Nicole Richie got loose on Mardi Gras, and even the balls are changed during his at bats to ensure its authentication. It's just one of the crazy nuances of baseball and during milestone chases like this, it comes at price. What price you ask? Well in becoming the youngest player ever to achieve 600 home runs, it also took him the longest number of at bats in between 599 and 600 then any of the other members of the 600 home run club. He also played like absolute dog shit in that span too. Something like 8-200. It was rough for everyone. Especially Arods girl Ms. Cameron Diaz. Chick is in her sexual prime and Alex was probably refusing to give her the business until he surpassed the epic milestone.
This whole fiasco kinda reminded me of my high school years. I know I tend to compare everything to chicks and promiscuous, adolescent sexual activity but it is what it is brohans and brohanettes. Your ace Dbl-A has a one track mind. Well two track, if you include fantasy baseball. Anyhow, Arod waiting to bomb #600 brought me back to my time when dealing with high school girls. Sure, if you were dating a girl it was almost weird not to wanna bang out. Arod was dating this milestone. Flirting with it. Sending dirty instant messages to it like "hey you wanna skip class tomorrow and make out behind the bleachers?" Except the class is the media and the bleachers are Yankee Stadium. Bottom line is not every girl was a bona-fide gutty yet, so they would take it slow. Maybe a few tugs outside the jeans every now and again at lunch, and I guess you can compare those shitty rubs to a couple of pointless base hits. After all, they do nothing for you when your trying to go all the way bro. Hope you Brah-spel readers are keeping up here. Like, he was actually starting to lose his mind folks. You could see it in his eyes. It's like your girl friend not putting out cause she hears the other ladies discussing how they are gonna wait to bang their boyfriends at the friday night rager, after the football game. Arods eyes were starting to leak jizz, like seriously girl just give it to him! All of a sudden, she caves on the ride home from school. Baaaa boom! Totally unexpected but so necessary. Now we can all move on with our lives. Arod got laid. I mean he finally his #600, and if we continue the trend of the story, the milestone is officially a whore. This all goes hand in hand. Now that he got the proverbial monkey off his back its time to lead this team into October and beyond.
-Dbl-A
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