Tmz - Laurence Fishburne's 19-year-old daughter is making a serious push to break into Hollywood-- and she's doing it with a hardcore sex tape. TMZ has learned Montana Fishburne is starring in a porno flick for Vivid Entertainment -- explaining, "I've watched how successful Kim Kardashian became and I think a lot of it was due to the release of her sex tape." Unlike the celeb she admires -- Montana is not arguing that her tape was stolen or obtained illegally.
Oh Lordy. Another one? These sex tapes are becoming way of initiation into Hollywood's pop culture scene these days. Like whatever happened to actually putting out a decent movie, or say, I don't know, maybe actually having talent! It's almost pathetic how some of these chicks can get famous by literally filming themselves fucking some tool in night vision mode. It's fucking ridiculous. I will however, give Pamela Anderson and even Paris Hilton a free pass on this one.
Pammy for one, was easily one of the hottest chicks on the planet stemming from the late 80's and continued her dominance throughout the 90's. As a growing adolescence in the 90's, I can say no woman garnered more "me" time then that of Pamela Anderson. Literally every time I saw her on the tube, it was time to break out the Jergens hand lotion. I know what your thinking, too much info Dbl-A, but Pam was a star, and I was like fucking 14. What do you want from me? In any event, Pam started the whole sex tape fad. I mean, every dude on the planet wanted to see her getting slammed, and she didn't disappoint the fans bro. Her celebrity status was already killing it before the tape, but after its release she just absolutely blew up. She ignited what has become a trend for young Hollywood actresses and socialites alike to make their own sex tapes. How can I not respect a pioneering woman?
I hate Paris Hilton so much that it pains me to give her credit for her sex tape. But, night vision fucking? Now that's something that had never been done before her. In fact, I feel like she studied Pam's sex tape over and over again to make sure she was learning all the nuances of the game. Perfecting her craft like a slutty, useless version of Peyton Manning. Just logging in hours of film room game tape to ensure she was ready for "game day." Gotta love that dedication. Talking like a dirty whore? Check. Sloppy head giving? Check. Douche bag boyfriend? Check. The first night vision bang? Check. Originality? Double check.
So in lieu of this news about Laurence Fishburne's daughter wanting to become a Hollywood whore too, I say what's another one gonna hurt? She's poised, and motivated to take her "career" to the next level, so a father has got to support that, right? Well, if I were Laurence Fishburne, this wouldn't even be an issue right now. How so you ask? My ideology has always been that daughters are trouble in general. Like the second my wife shits one out Im logging onto a computer at the hospital and putting her right on ebay. Boom! Fuck all that, I ain't dealing with girls and all their hormones and slutty tendencies. 5 minute old daughter up for sale. Starting at 40 cents on the bid. I'll pay for shipping and handling just please someone take her off my hands. Sorry Laurence, daughters are rough bro.
-Dbl-A
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