Can We Get The Owner Of This Car Some Painkillers?

On my way to work today to teach little kids how to play tennis, while their hot mommies look on and drool at the sight of me (I wish), I stumbled upon this car with some pretty sweet decals on it. By being a die hard Jets fan it was obviously the first thing that caught my eye, but in seeing the New York Mets sticker posted right next to it, your boy Dbl-A got to thinking.

Is this person truly happy with their life? Maybe I am completely off here and this person just really likes bumper stickers and such, but no one is going to sit here and tell me that the owner of this vehicle can look at themselves in the mirror everyday, and say they are actually satisfied with their life. That's just the way it is for these Jet/Met fans. I mean, I'm Yankee/Jet. Always have been, always will be. Its encoded in my DNA for god sakes. But the bottom line is, with all the misery and "same old Jets" moments that the team in green has put me through during my life, I have always had the greatest franchise in sports history as a proverbial shoulder to lean on. Who the fuck am I kidding? the Jets can go 0-16, but if the Yankees win the world series I automatically feel like a million bucks again. On top of the world. Mom, you can cancel the hours of therapy sessions, the Yankees just won the world series. I don't need to cut my wrists anymore. I think all the thanks should just go to my pops, because its typically the father that passes down fanship of a team to his son. Its just tradition bro.

Big ole' Suessmandzadeh goes through the same thing. Mets lick balls for an entire summer, but come Septemeber, he knows his New York Football Giants will be serious contenders. Its just an innate part of life that keeps us going on.

So having said all of this, how does the owner of this truck continue to live a normal life. No way they are happy, just look at the stickers bro. Mets? Jets? Come on. Wouldn't be surprised if there's a noose in the trunk somewhere, just in case. Its the kinda thing where you see this person getting out of this car in the morning on your way into work. Gotta keep tabs on them. Constantly checking the Mets standings so that once you see them officially out of it, you found a GREAT day to miss work. Some things just make people snap sometimes, and sports are no exception. Listen to me, cause it could cost you your life. Just don't say Dbl-A didn't tell you so.

-Dbl-A