The Midday "Munch" Box: This Llama And I Have A Lot In Common

Yahoo! - A male llama chased his prospective mate onto a busy German motorway forcing police to rescue her, authorities said Wednesday. Thomas Reuter, spokesman for police in the town of Gifhorn, said the male llama had caused the female, called Luisa, to panic and flee their pasture by jumping over a fence onto the highway.

Well this kinda thing seems just all too familiar for your boy. Can't tell to you how many times I have been involved in a eerily similar situation. I spot a adorable looking girl at a bar, and my first instincts are to evaluate the situation, assess my surroundings, and prepare for a preemptive strike. Attack without warning. What can I say? I studied this shit hardcore in school. Article 51 of the United Nations Charter bro. No stress here, I'm fully prepared.

I tend to get a little prehistoric when I have a cold beer, or a tasty drink in my hand. That's why I have always called it "caveman juice." You give me a bottle of Mr. Bostons 100 Proof Vodka, and all bets are off. It can get just downright ugly for your boy. Talk about keeping an eye on your friends when they're drunk, I would need my bros to keep me away from a nursing home when I drink that shit. Any female is in danger. Me man, you woman- caveman juice.

So obviously I feel bad for this poor male llama here. He basically scared his llama lady friend onto a busy highway where she could have easily become someone's new hood ornament. Hey llama, your not the only one bro, I promise. If I received a nickel for every time I scared away a pretty young thang, only for her to realize her best option of avoiding me was to run onto on coming traffic, well then I would be the richest man on the planet bar none. I'm not saying I have no game, it's just that me on caveman juice is a scary combination. Pretty sure I have even tried to bonk a girl over her head with a stick I found on my walk to the bars. So ladies, pretty much stay away from me when I'm retarded like that, unless your into some kinky, Neanderthal sex.

-Dbl-A