Dick's Picks: NFL Week 12 Thanksgiving edition

Holding it down with the 5-0 week last week I am now only 2 games behind Dbl-A-hole Penetration. You wanna run your mouth? Well then James Darmody is going to body you with a bullet to ya dome skillet. Thanksgiving has to be the greatest holiday ever. The 3 Fs, FOOD, FAMILY, & FOOTBALL. Not even the pilgrims could predict the amazingness this holiday has evolved into.

"Then Gisele said open my mouth as she proceeded to snow ball my own load into my mouth"

1. New England Patriots at Detroit Lions - Pick: Patriots
Why does the NFL force us to watch the Lions every Thanksgiving. The advertising campaign for Thanksgiving games should read as so, "Come watch (insert team here) as they have been granted the annual Thanksgiving day honor of embarrassing the Lions on national television." Simple marketing scheme. Brady is gonna torch shit up tomorrow. Happy Turkey Day New England. Why anyone shows up to the game in Detroit is beyond me. I remember watching in 2003, the last time they won on Thanksgiving. It was against Favre and the Packers and Dre Bly won the galloping gobbler. 9 years later and the Lions still suck.

ALL HAIL BREESMAN

2. New Orleans Saints at Dallas Cowboys - Pick: Saints
I actually have my doubts about this pick. The Cowboys have been playing inspired football their new ginger head coach. So why wouldn't they come to play on Thanksgiving and try to ruin a lot of fans appetites. The Saints look like they are back to form and should be able to set the pace but if the Cowboys defense gets out to any sort of a roll, this could spell a long day for Brees and Friends. FUCK THE COWBOYS.

Its me Stevie, Stevie Janowski from High School

3. Pittsburgh Steelers at Buffalo Bills - Pick: Steelers
This one is a lock. So I'm gonna toot Bills receiver Stevie Johnson's horn. This dude is absolutely the fucking man. 728 receiving yards and 9 TD receptions. The Kentucky product has been in the league 2 years and is finally making an impact. Johnson is the obvious player benefiting the most from Ryan Fitzpatrick's ascension to the top of the depth chart. That celebration last week was all time greatness. Calling out Roger Goodell and only getting fined $5,000. You got lucky kid, Rog must be a Batman fan.

It's time for Phil to show the NFL that he's this years MVP

4. San Diego Chargers (+3) at Indianapolis Colts - Upset Pick: Chargers
Lets face facts, if you field a soft pass defense the Chargers are gonna make you pay. O well would you look at that, the Colts sport just that. The Chargers have a solid defense and offense that can easily keep up with Peyton Manning. Philip Rivers is an MVP candidate and if the Chargers win in Indy against "The Great One" then  you have to start looking at Rivers usurping Manning  as NFL MVP.

Turn that frown upside down. WE GOT TO WIN THIS WEEK

5. Jacksonville Jaguars at New York Giants - Pick: Giants
Picking the Giants has me shook. The Giants should win this game but who knows anymore. The Giants should be motivated after another embarrassing lost last week, but its all a crap shoot with the scrubs they have at wide out. Thank god for the Giants defense. It should keep the G-men in the game as MJD tries to run wild on Sunday.

-R.C. Suessmandzadeh