sunylok katy: Florida Sheriff Just Pumping Holes Into A Deer, Trying To Put It Out Of Misery

AZCentral - GAINESVILLE, Fla. – A sheriff's deputy in Gainesville had to fire 17 shots to put down a deer hit by a car. The Alachua sheriff's department said the deputy was "horrified" by what happened Wednesday, and would be referred to a victim advocate. The deputy didn't know where to shoot the animal, so he called a superior. The sergeant said to aim for the heart, behind the deer's shoulder. Instead, the deputy fired repeatedly into the stomach until the animal died.

This is normal right? Just your regular old sheriff deputy putting holes into a massive deer in order to put it out of its misery. I suppose the big question is, did Paul Blart over here have to pull out his crip rag, put it on his dome with a knot in the front, and blast this damn Bambi like he was fucking Tupac? Must have been driving along to Hit Em' Up right before he offed this beast like he was poning noobs in Halo 3. Jesus H Christ though, 17 shots? You can't even write this shit. Well, maybe you can. Ever seen a little blockbuster called Me, Myself, and Irene? It's a SportsBrah's staple and Jim Carey is at his best in the scene where he's trying to put a cow out of it's misery after he sees it lying there, hanging on by a thread in the middle of the road (see video above).

The sheriff should have just pulled a Jim Carey and after the, I dunno - 10th bullet, and just gave up and started curb stomping the thing and putting it in a Ric Flair esque headlock. I mean, just ask any Call of Duty nerd - that obscene amount of bullets would only mean that your opponent was using the health perk "Juggernaut," which everyone knows makes you the biggest gaming herb EVER. Anyway, I can't imagine that there hasn't been enough criminal action in Gainsville, Florida that this Sheriff had to re-teach himself how to use a 9 mm glock on the Lou Ferrigno of Deer. Like I said before, just cop an Xbox live account, pop in COD, and pone some uber gamer fags. Plus, it's better therapy then going completely West Coast on some precious woodland creature.