The Captain Does What He Must

You shot Derek Jeter!

Last night's "HBP"

Yankees.com - ST. PETERSBURG -- Derek Jeter sold it like a professional, darting away from an inside pitch during the seventh inning on Wednesday, then shaking his arm in apparent pain while walking to first base. Only later, after home-plate umpire Lance Barksdale had believed Jeter's self-described "acting" job and ejected Rays manager Joe Maddon in the process, did the Yankees' captain come clean about the performance he'd put on for the crowd at Tropicana Field."It hit the bat," Jeter said. "He told me to go to first. I'm not going to tell him, 'I'm not going to go to first,' you know? My job is to get on base."


Yada Yada Yada. Okay, it hit the Captain's bat. He admit it. Obviously he's not trying to pull a fast one on the fans, it is what it is bro. Human error is just part of the game we love so much. Just ask Armando Galarraga and Jim Joyce. It's impossible to be perfect all the time. But, like Jeter said, what is he gonna pull the ump aside and insist that the ball in fact hit off the knob of his bat and not his championship ring wielding hand instead? NOT so much. Tight one run contest, and late in a game that for the moment decides first place in the AL East. Do you know how many times I've screamed at the tv while Lance Berkman was up at bat? Dude your stick is gone, jump in front of the pitch - we need fucking base runners.  Aka, sometimes you gotta do whatever it takes to get on base. That doesn't make Jeter a cheater, it just demonstrated his incomproable baseball savvy that has stocked his mantle with World Series trophies, and established his track record of dimes as a filthy display of a Hall Of Fame Playa's resume. You fellas taking notes?

And don't act like this shit doesn't go down in other sports. Just the other night when the Jets boned themselves off the field with yellow flags, one of the biggest ones was the running into the kicker penalty. It was more like Edward's doing a hop, skip and a jig and punter Sam Koch falling over helplessly like he just witnessed Rex Ryan in a G string. Come on.

You sure as shit know Christiano Ronaldo makes a fucking living off fall acting. I mean, how many times do you see Ronaldo fall like he just had his dick ripped off his body, and the next thing you know he's sprinting down the field like a gazelle, and firing the rock into the top 90 corner of the net?

DJ up for an academy this year along with Megan Fox, and Amanda Seyfried. Or there truly is no justice in this world.

-Dbl-A