I must admit I feel for my man Charlie Sheen on this one. The dude is literally so busy all day getting trashed and eating grapes out of strippers snatches that he completely messed up by giving a cop his fake I.D. Listen, shit happens. It's part of the Hollyweird lifestyle. Sheen is the "Wildthing" though. Butt sex, hood rats, and fake I.D's are is M.O. Best part of this is how nonchalant his reaction to the cop was. "It's fake, I had it made from someone on the set after I lost the real one." Can you picture that smug grin on his face a la from the first Major League when Roger Dorn's wife basically tells him she wants to fuck him? Priceless. Sheen didn't give a fuck bro.
Reminds me of my Freshman year of college. Literally second week of school, and my suitemates (no homo) and I were getting absolutely trashed in our dorm. Funnels, beer pong, flip cup, shot guns. You name it. We were drinking like it was our last day on Earth. And why not right? Then without warning there's a knock at the door. With a freshly filled funnel in my hand, I answered it like any true brohan would. 3 chicks. 2 decent looking, the other not so much so. I figured however, that this fresh 2 beer funnel I had in my paws would probably make her as good, or perhaps even better looking once I took it. My male instincts took over: "Um hey ladies, what's going on this evening, can I interest you in a funnel?" Picture them saying this in Lumbergh's voice. "Yeah...we're RA's" Devastating, but apparently youthful Dbl-A had it covered for the brief moment. Hand them the fake, they look at it, leave, and brohan party fest continues. To cut to the chase, those gremlin looking bitches called the cops when they looked me up in the building directory. Fuck. Cops come in threatening all hell. Lady cops too. One thing I have learned is you DO NOT wanna fuck with a chick cop, because they love that power trip. So if you're wondering how I got out of this, it was simple. I promised to go down on the lady cop. Sometimes you gotta take one for the team. After all, I opened the door like a moron for the RA's and, I'm a pro at eating box. True story.
In all seriousness, the cops let me off with a warning. Never pulled out a fake on an unknown human being again, and especially never answered a random dorm room door knock. I guess the cops really saw into my soul. I mean, I was just an innocent looking 18 year old kid who just wanted to get blacked out with his boys and get some strange ass. This is America right? All in all, Charlie I feel for you. But keep your head up. Crazy girls has a phenomenal buffet on Tuesdays bro.
-Dbl-A
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