For all you fathers out there that tuned in to watch the second installment of Hard Knocks: Training Camp With The New York Jets, I hope you took notes on Mark Brunell's parenting skills. I mean, the entire time Brunell had that look in his eye like he knows just exactly how much of a pussy crushing machine Mark Sanchez is. Brunell is fucking right though. Sanchez was fighting hard to hold back that smug grin as he thought to himself "Do you realize how much pussy I smashed at USC, this would be dirt off my shoulder."
Brunell might as well have just pulled a Bob Saget and kept it real simple for the Jets stud QB. Don't you fuck my daughter Mark, don't you dare fuck her. Any good father would do the same. Sanchez is a great guy, and I love him in a Jet uniform, but do not let that charm fool you for a second. He's got the Trojan mentality. Inconspicuous innocence - he seems harmless at first, but the second your guard is down, he will bang you. You know, Troy and the huge horse. Sanchize is just taking the works of Homer, and channeling it towards torquing hot chicks. One time I was watching a game at my apartment in college, and the second Sanchize took his helmet off, every girl I lived with goes "Ooo he's cute." I was like, shit, can we get some buckets underneath these girls so our flimsy ass house doesn't get flooded. Yikes.
So the moral of the story is Sanchez's track record speaks for itself. After all, we have all seen that infamous youtube vid of him coming out of a club and filling up his whip with like 30 different broads. Smokeshows, grenades, butterfaces, blondes, brunettes, and everything else under the sun. They probably all got slayed. Bingo Bango.
And the rumor that him and Jamie Lynn Sigler were an item? Na, she's just his Thursday night girl bro.
~Thanks to Barstool for the first video.
-Dbl-A
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