Dude Eats Another Dudes Glasses Because He's Out OF HIS DAMN MIND

Yahoo! - BISMARCK, N.D. – A North Dakota inmate was not afraid of making a spectacle of himself when he grabbed another suspect's glasses and started to eat them. Burleigh County Sheriff's Maj. Les Witkowski says the 42-year-old inmate at the county detention center became frustrated Aug. 1 when he was not able to talk to the chaplain, so he swallowed both lenses and a piece of the metal frame. He had been booked on an aggravated assault charge just five hours earlier.

Let me tell you, I used to think going to jail was one of the top 5 most bad ass things you could do. I mean, if you were in there for a legitimate crime and made it out alive, how fucking tough would you be after that? Hard as fucking concrete, thats how. And who on god's sweet Earth would want to fuck with you? You know when someone's been to jail just by looking at them. Permanent stone cold stare, more tattoos than that chick Kat Von D, and a swagger that says "I fucked dudes in the shower, still wanna look my way ass clown?" Even if you didn't pop a dude's ass cherry, you think anyone's gonna step to you and find out? Not so much.

That's why the inmate in this story scares the man tits off me. The coppers snagged him for aggravated assault, which compared to actual murder or rape is basically child's play. I'm not saying this guy is Pope Benedict or Mr. Rogers but I don't exactly think of Osama Bin Laden either. I still would rather fuck with Chris Benoit (ouch that was rough) during one of his fits of steroid rage, then step to this guy. Wanna know why? Because all he wanted was talk to the Chaplain, which is essentially a freakin' priest for Christ's sake. So what did he do when he didn't get his way? He ate some dude's glasses. Yes, he fucking crunched into some dudes specs like it was a fresh plate of fried calamari. Crazy brohan's like this are why I would rather be a guinea pig in Nasa's mission to Planet X before I spent one night in prison.

P.S. Jail is FUCKING nuts. I guess when you get canned, after awhile your fellow inmates start looking like the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders, and a regular pair of glasses starts looking like a fresh lobster tail dipped in a vat of butter. Scary.

-Dbl-A