Friday, August 20, 2010

Don't Click On These Broads - Just Watch Porn Bro


Yahoo! - SAN FRANCISCO – If you're looking for Cameron Diaz, Julia Roberts or Jessica Biel online, look out! The movie stars top the latest list of the most dangerous celebrities to search for online, according to new research by computer-security software maker McAfee Inc. It's far from an Oscar, but landing atop McAfee's annual list carries a distinction all its own: It means that criminals believe those celebs are the perfect lures to sucker people into visiting malicious websites. 


Is this really the top 3? I have no problem with any of these chicks but shit, that's random. Well, I lied. Julia Roberts can suck my balls. She hasn't been hot since that movie Erin Broka-whatever, but that was like 20 fucking years ago. Besides Jessica Biel, I'm a little surprised that these are the woman internet criminals would use to lure in unsuspecting victims. Biel is slammin', but if I want to see her assets I'll just pop in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and see her running for her life while she's wearing a toddler sized white tank top, that's just conveniently soaking wet. Or, I'll watch I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry just to watch her round rump jiggle in front of Adam Sandler when she's changing out of her wet clothes. Hey, what's the deal with Biel and movies with her getting wet? (pun intended).


And Cameron Diaz? Surfer chick blonde's as tall as Yao Ming never really did it for me, but Ms. Diaz does have legs FOR DAYS. Plus, any piece of pussy A-rod's touched over the last 10-12 months has worked out okay for the Yanks, so thats that. Nonetheless, you couldn't catch me searching for Cameron Diaz anyway so you internet scammers can lick my nut sack. If I wanna see vintage Diaz, I'm putting The Mask on the grill aka my dvd player. Her acting debut in that flick is one of the finest pieces of cinema I have seen to this day bro. I may have been 5 - but you never forget popping your first woody when it rips through your favorite pair of Power Rangers pajamas like a turgid piston beam.

                       The best 28 seconds you can find homie

I feel like generally the types of dudes getting suckered into clicking something like "Julia Roberts smashing her tits together" which leads to a virus for young and middle aged bros. When your 9 years old, anything that indicates tits and ass is getting clicked. If only I could mentor these little maggots to go strait to a reliable porn site the problem would be solved. Middle age married dudes are easy targets too. Your wife just came in from playing tennis, so those goods aren't being touched until a couple of showers, and after a long day of cubicle monkey slave work a link that says "Julia Roberts banging herself with a cucumber" is looking better then the Monday Night Football game. If only I could teach this bros, the world and internet would be a safer place.

-Dbl-A

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