The Midday "Munch" Box: I Hate This Man With Every Fiber In My Being

Man, I just hate this guy so much. Really don't know how else to even begin this. I mean, I could spend this entire post just wishing death on Carl Pavano and everyone that's even slightly related to him, and as a matter of fact I think I might just do that.

What an absolute fucking creep. The Twins give him a shot last season. Low risk, high reward. Aka if he blew cock for them, it was dirt off their shoulder. Only problem is, he hasn't been anything but sensational for a pitching staff desperately searching for an identity and a top of the rotation ace. Worst part of it all is Pavano is having one of his BEST seasons in 2010. Of his 20 starts so far, he has gone at least 7 innings in 15 of them. fif-fucking-teen. Top that off with 12 wins and 5 complete games. Ew, excuse me while I go puke my intestines out.

Hey Carl. Wanna do every New Yorker a favor bro? Go to the top of the tallest building in Minnestoa and just hurl yourself off. Actually your ace did some research and the tallest building is the IDS Center in Minneapolis. Perfect. Heres the thing though. I think I speak for Yankee nation when I say instead of plunging to his doom Evel Knievel style, perhaps a slow, extremely painful death would be more fitting. Oh yeah, that's it. Picture this: Pavano is waiting on line at Six Flags on a sunny day, awaiting to get on Nitro. He's counting all 39 + million that he basically stole from the Yanks-he's got it all on him just grinning like a fucking asshole. All of a sudden he get's stabbed by some lunatic who's carrying a needle filled with AIDS ridden blood. Yes, a slow death is in order for Carl Pavano. I could not be any happier. Get this crazy AIDS needle stabber a fucking noble piece prize. I mean, for prescribing an awful death to one of the most hated free agent acquisitions ever, I would let this dude have catch with my 2 year old child. Seriously, I would trust him with my child's life. That is how much I hate Carl Pavano.

Why can't bad things ever happen to the people that actually deserve it? Pretty sure I heard recently that Pavano stated that the Holocaust didn't actually happen. We're dealing with a threat to America people.

4 Worst People On Earth: Kim Jong Il, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Osama Bin Laden, Carl Pavano.

-Dbl-A