Lady Gag....On This

TMZ - Lady Gaga took time out from touring to suck face with her boyfriend Luc Carl, tan her porcelain skin and even indulge in a game of chicken fights while at a hotel pool in Texas on Monday. Underneath all the hair dye, makeup, vinyl, leather, hoods, capes and masks, Gags is just another tatted up, bikini babe looking for a fun time.


Yo lady Gag, I'll at least start by saying you definitely have some ill tunes. I will not take that away from you. Poker Face, Paparazzi, Just Dance (just to name a few) are pretty dope jams. Gets me pumped up especially on nights where your pre-gaming with a bunch of goons trying to figure out what the fuck she is talking about in Bad Romance. Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah. She's referring to the noises she makes when she's throat deep in a man juice gargle right? Always been my theory, but like I said, Gags keeps the interpretations limitless. Through all the mumbo jumbo though, Lady Gag is just a glorified piece of trashy excrement. Like seriously, she may have achieved the epitome of fame but is there any doubt that in high school she was easily the girl who got made fun of for being emo and having greasy hair? 


What I'm basically getting at here is that it may be the ill money to be banging Lady Gag these days while shes raking in millions and dildoing herself at NY baseball games, but in high school you could get picked on just by even coming within five feet of her. Total dog bro. I mean, she's not even hot now anyway, and rumor has it that she's packing a bigger Willy Wonka then Peter North. I can't help but think that Gag was definitely the emo girl who you kinda wanted to bang because she was the emo girl that everyone made fun of. It's just that simple, and stuff like that actually does happen. Why try and slay the bottom feeder of the high school social scene you ask? Well, Dbl-A's got one simple answer for you: Cause ya can bro! Chicks like that will love to pour out their soul to you, and it turns them on like light bulbs bro. I mean, their emo chicks. It's easier then the American History regents exam.  Plus, they feel exclusive for giving out tugs to a dude on the wrestling team everyday after practice. Its an exact science, emo chicks are always closet slores. Like, they have definitely done way more stuff then the coolest girls in your grade, guaranteed. The only reason why they are more experienced is because instead of going to house party ragers like the cool folk, the losers are off at some My Chemical Romance concert  slitting their wrists and fucking complete strangers while exclaiming hatred for organized governement. Sheesh, I almost miss girls like that in high school. 

Now to my next point. Hooking up with loser girls like Lady Gag in high school is all fun and gravy as long as your friends NEVER FIND OUT ABOUT IT. Cannot even stress that enough. Like it's one thing when your getting slurp jobs from a goth chick on a lonley saturday night in tenth grade, but it's another when you lose so much track of time that your parents think your missing and alert the authorities. Boom! Now all your boys know you have been messing around with the ugly chick for the past 7 months. Just not a good look for anyone bro. 

So Lady Gag, yes, that is the only way I will refer to you, please don't make this shit public. Its gross to think of you from your high school years girl. 

-Dbl-A