Its A Man Baby!

Yahoo! - BEIJING (Reuters) – Plainclothes police severely beat the wife of a provincial official, mistaking her for one of many Chinese who petition government offices in the hope of redressing wrongs, the China Daily reported on Wednesday.


The Chinese can be pretty crazy sometimes huh? I mean, they are still fucking communists for gods sake. Don't they already know that government doesn't work? I guess they are just too busy over populating the world into Armageddon. Whatever. These people just can't stop having sex. It's like damn impossible. China's approximate population is hovering around, oh I don't know...say 1.3 BILLION! Its just fucking insane. Like where are they stashing all these kids? Sweatshops were always my best guess. Hell, every time I open a fresh box of Nike Air Force One's I take a god damn bow I tell you. But recently, after doing some deductive reasoning (thanks to Mr. Miraglia's forensic science class) I think I know just what China is up to. 


Over-saturating the planet with more then the country can handle, cooking my favorite sesame chicken and white rice dish from cats and dogs, and now beating helpless women up for no god damn reason? There's something fishy here bro. First thing I thought of when I read this was wow this is directly out of Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery. Like the part where Austin attacks Basil's mother, feverishly trying to rip what he thinks is a wig off her head. Just such a classic piece of cinema. Well, she does look rather man-ish. That's what the  Chinese are trying to do here. Wanna solve your over population problem? Don't make a limit on how many kids one family can have, just seek out and beat the living shit out of any woman you can find. I guess it makes sense, the Chinese have always been a male dominated society but it comes back to a question thats older then time itself: Who's gonna cook? who's gonna tend to the 15 kids in your house? Who's going to make the fried dumplings? Seriously, these are all incredibly important questions. Love the response of the police on this  one though. 

"This incident is a total misunderstanding." 


The wife of a government official was just beaten the shit out of and all they can come up with is it was a total misunderstanding? I mean, at least say she looked like a man, man. 


"Our police officers never realized that they beat the wife of a senior leader." 


Haha, good one. That's like saying Jeter ISN'T fucking tonight. 


-Dbl-A