What A Weekend That I Don't Remember

Sorry for the drought boys and girls, but The SportsBrah's were just hella busy getting hopped up and making a couple of bad decisions this past weekend. NYC friday, AC on Saturday. So as you can imagine I was running on about 2 hours of sleep and literally living off red bulls. But you only live once, so you gotta do the birthday thing up huge. The only problem I have with birthdays is if you don't actually slay some poon, you just feel completely worthless. I mean, It's the one day of the year you can actually get away with trying to hook up with anyone. Even that one gal friend you have always had the hots for. Hey, It's my birthday maybe you wanna pet my Mr. JiggleDaddy for a hot minute? Is that so out of left field?

Take for example my first trip to AC. In the car ride up with my boys we literally talked about pussy for 3 1/2 strait hours. Just shooting the shit with a couple of bros bro. And nothing gets you more jacked up for a S.T.R.A.N.G.E. night in AC then jammering with some dudes about past slampig conquests and slutty Halloween costumes chicks would inevitably be rocking everywhere that night. We got there, pounded some goose and red bull, got real creepy and drunk - and yeah...that's the last thing I remember. Blacked the F out and the next thing I know I'm waking up face down in a hotel bed with drool covering my face. As I battled myself to open my lids, half a lifetime of eye crust fell out and all I see is a dude next to me. My boy Mikey. Both realizing we were completely pussyless last night, we simultaneously muttered out "Epic Fail." Yup, waking up to your bro is fine man. I'm strait two times. But waking up to his fucking face when I should have been blasting chicks all night in AC is just not a good look for your boy.

At least the next day I got to take a picture with this bomb shell. In between getting butt raped by the Tropicana casino, I spotted this little stunner and figured fuck it, my dignity has been long gone. Chugged a couple of vodka cranberrys, went over to her and said I need a picture with you. And let me tell you, touching her back with my hand made my weekend. Still haven't showered since Saturday and I don't ever plan to again. I mean would you? Not when you have her sexy back residue on your hand. Yeah, what a weekend.

-Dbl-A