Week 9 NFL Picks With Dbl-A!!

Yeah so about last week. AC, Grey Goose and a whole lotta hyrdo. The weekly picks situation was fucked on the part of your's truly, but it wasn't exactly on my list of priorties that included staying alive, and not gambling my life away. Anyway, Dick covered that already. And the standings? Yup, Dick covered those too (Me: 20-14 Dick: 18-17) . Excuse the puns, I'm currently zooted. But I'll end the yammering. Here's a double shot of Week 9 NFL Picks.

If I'm Rapelisberger, I'm just strait up lovin' the way this little cutie rocks my Tee. Get it baby, get it!

1. Pittsburgh @ Cincinnatti - Pick = Steelers
- Whether they're playing in Hannibal Lector's dungeon, Jupiter, or Cincinnatti, the gosh darn Steel Pack are gonna win games on the road. Might as well be colonoscopy day at Paul Brown Stadium after Big Ben completes this inevitable anal probing of the Bengals Defense.

Waist to booty ration is tipping the scales. Imagine what Van Gogh could have brought to the table in regards to body paint? He was a pervert right?

2. UPSET CITY San Diego @ Houston (+3)  - Pick = Texans
- Texans defense is swiss cheese but the CHAAAAgers boast the leages #1 Offense AND Defense but still don't have much to show for it at 3-5. Texans got plenty of weapons over there and at home they can ball early and often.

Side Boob and fuck me pants. Bada bing bada boom. That was my Tallywhacker talking. 

3. Carolina @ New Orleans - Pick = Saints
-Come on Carolina is awful. I don't care if Brees and the boys are soft, this one is a wrap.

Jesus Harry Christ these Bucs girls could get it so bad in their throwback outfits. Tampa must be on high Chub alert every game day with these little stun pieces frolicking about. 

4.  UPSET CITY Tampa Bay (+10) @ Atlanta - Pick = Bucs
- Boys and girls, here's your chance to endulge in my second upset pick this week. This one's a doozy. The Bucs are young and for whatever reason thriving with close game wins. Matty Ice gets skunked this week Brah.

I would sext a dick picture to Mother Theresa if it meant I could impregnate Jenn Sterger. Fucking little skank has my head(s) spinning. 

5. New York Jets @ Detroit - Pick = Jets
- Fuck me I'm so nervous about this game. The Lions aren't trotting out XFL players anymore. Javhid Best burns, Matt Stafford throws missiles, and apparently they have an Alien Cyborg playing wide reciever. Still, Rex's boys better pull out this win if they want to be taken seriously in the AFC.

Hey baby, that New England look and Clam chowder grill are just strait up zooted. I'll take the tigo bitties tho. My D likes that brah. 

6. New England @ Cleveland - Pick = Patriots
Here ya go Grant, ya cocksucker. I finally picked your beloved squad. Bask in it, because this will be the SOFTEST 7-1 team since they were the softest 18-0 team. Don't even stress that.

This picture is why I love sports. Of course chick Packers fan's would be die hards like this. Matching dick crushing outfits, a catchy sign, and showing off your T's in front of the Cheese head faithful at Lambeau's Icy Tundra. Gotta respect that kind of dedication. 

7. Dallas @ Green Bay - Pick = Packers
- Goobye 'Boys officially at the hand of Aaron Rodgers, in Green Bay, on Primetime television Sunday night? Might have better ratings then Boardwalk Empire. Remote me.

I type in "sexy Giants fan" in Google images search and this is literally the first picture. What, am I not gonna use this? Not like it would even matter if she had the face of Frankenstein from Happy Gilmore. You had me at tramp stamp and nuclear dumper.  

8. New York Giants @ Seattle - Pick = GMen
- I don't give a titty fuck if Qwest Field gets as loud as Richard Simmons in a workout video for the chronically obese, the Giants won't lose this game. Especially with Charlie Whitehurst never seeing an NFL snap before, he's gonna shit his undies when the Giants stack 8 in the box and prepare to run train on him. Charlie, better introduce yourself to the local paramedics because there's a good chance they are going to be your butt buddys at some point in this contest.

Skanky Vikings fans on point. A threesome with these three little smokes could just get downright S.T.R.A.N.G.E. 

9. Arizona @ Minnesota - Pick = Vikings
- I'm gonna call this the "Who gives a fuck about these two miserably underachieving teams" Bowl. The answer is no one. Favre is literally hanging on by a string and I feel like they are piecing him together every Sunday night with metallic limbs and robotic appendages. How the fuck do you play with 2 fractures in your ankle when you're 40? Only reason the Vikes win is cause of All Day AP. Run the ball jesus. At least make Childress look competent cause he's doing his best I am Sam impression these days.

Don't you dare give me those eyes you little skanky Ravens temptress. Cause if you keep it up I'm going to deck you like Ray.

10. Miami @ Baltimore - Pick = Ravens
- This isn't a slam dunk for Ravens fans, but then again it would be a crushing blow to lose at home to the Fish. Especially when Baltimore is trying to put themselves in the same conversation with the Steelers among the AFC's elite. Both teams can lick my ass, but making picks is what I do here at The SportsBrahs. So here you are to all my faithful bastard followers.

-Dbl-A