NFL Week 4 Picks With Your Boy Dbl-A! Standings: Me = 9-6, Suess = 8-7

Just when the Brah-spel faithful was ready to throw Dbl-A under the bus because of his early season struggles in The SportsBrah's weekly segment of NFL picks, I just go ape shit on my selections last week and spring right back to the top of the standings. Come on, who's surprised? Came through last week with a 4-1 showing, and if I had ANY faith in my Jets squad I would have had the first immaculate 5-0 week.  But, I'll tell you goons this: If picking against the Jets in this weekly column means they will win, then fuck it. I want the W's when Sunday rolls along. But if I can body Suessmandzadeh's dreams in the process, well then I couldn't ask for anything more. By the way - might as well have to rename myself Dr. Upset Pick because I'm already a staggering 3-0 in those games. Yipi Kay Yay mother fucker. 

Who wants a mustache ride on this bad boy?

(1) Denver @ Tennessee - Pick = Titans
- I would like to see a fight between Josh McDaniels and Jeff Fisher. Sure McDaniels may be the younger of the two, but Fisher has the experience. And that mustache? Couldn't you see Fisher just raw dogging McDaniel's wife and giving her rides on his pristine man stash? All day long. If it's not obvious now, I hate Josh McDaniels. Just seems like kid in school who asks the professor if he wants the homework. Like bro fuck you. Too much CJ2K in this one, especially in Titanville.

"Wow, those titty implants I made for Suessmandzadeh came out great!" -Peyton "The Surgeon" Manning

(2) Indianapolis @ Jacksonville - Pick = Colts
-First off this is NOT an upset pick. There just comes a time in the season when Peyton Manning permanently finds his season long rhythm that cannot be broken regardless of the opponent or home field advantage. He's a fucking surgeon remember. Here's the thing though: Basically since the beginning of the Manning dynasty, the Jags have ALWAYS played the Colts tough no matter how bad they are. It's just one of those match ups you look for the second the NFL schedule comes up if your a fan of this rivalry. Its a good one no doubt, but I got Peyton and the Colts.

"Talk to my wife about the hair. She's too busy modeling and shoving this pocket sized version of me up her cooch. I call him Mini Me." - Brady

(3) New England @ Miami - Pick = Dolphins
- Oh yeah. Did I just watch that EPIC make out scene with Megan Fox and Amanda Seyfried because everything is tingling inside me right now. Whoops, It's just the Pats and Fish beating up on each other in this AFC East showdown - my bad. But nevertheless, I can for sure get off to that. This has been a fun year to be an Pats hater. They might actually be genuinely shook that the Jets are better then them, Brady can't go a day without getting compared to the pubescent Justin Bieber, and his head turning wifey Giselle has been seen sucking Dbl-A's D canoodling with some French herbs, and some shit. Yes, I would say life is good. I got Miami at home even though the Jets offense was in high octane mode last Sunday night. They are playing quietly great D and like i've been saying since day 1, Brandon Marshall is a pain in the fucking neck for secondarys from here to Timbuktu.

Can somebody please just F this guy's mom already?

(4) UPSET CITY - Washington @ Philly - Pick = Reeeeedskins
- You have no idea how badly I wanted to pick Carolina over New Orleans - in Louisiana but I mean who the fuck on this planet has the nuts to call that upset? After all, Suessmandzadeh was starting to think I hollered at Doc Brown and asked him to cop me a sports almanac from the future because I have just been KILLIN' these upset picks. But this week, I'll go with the conservative matchup that most certainly has the potential of an upset written all over it. I'm going McNabb in his return to Philly. Vick may be murdering defenses and he's back no doubt, but I just got a feeling bro. No warm welcome for McNabb, I guarantee it. These are the same fans that vomit on old ladies and boo Santa Claus. Fucking degenerates.

No San Francisco on this picture. That's my quarterback...(tear)

(5) New York Jets @ Buffalo - Pick = Jets
I know, I know. Ironically I pick against them the last 2 weeks and they bang out HOT W's. I am about as superstitious as they come in sports, but I just CAN'T pick against them in Buffalo. The Bills are just so bad bro. But knowing my squad, they will play down to their opponent and revert back to the old ways of Sanchize looking like he's struggling to jerk his pud, not lead an offense down the field. Whatever, I'm going with this hot Jet squad right now. That is, until SOJ rears it's ugly fucking head again.

-Dbl-A