Did I ever mention Johnny Damon is the fucking tits? Here are the facts:
1 - Damon is on a losing Tigers squad that not getting in the playoffs.
2 - The Red Sox are still breathing. At 5.5 out really anything could happen, and this is coming from a Yankee fan. They could use Damon's bat. Throw Johnny in a pennant race and he could win games for you with his clutch stick.
3 - Damon turns down Boston's waiver claim saying Detroit "Is where I wanted to be." What Damon really means in so many words is: Here is my doody ridden gooch Beantown. Is it hairy enough for you?
4 - By virtue of the aforementioned facts, Johnny Damon is the TRUEST of all Yankees. Fuck you Boston.
Lets seriously take this in for a minute. Damon rejects Boston. Never thought I would ever see myself typing that 6-7 years ago. But this is now. Damon has shown me he really meant those sour words towards Boston. He would rather fuck his hot wife without questioning his integrity every night before he goes to bed. Not to mention, if he left Detroit, who's going to challange Jim Leyland for the naked pull up record in the Tigers locker room? Johnny Damon, that's who.
-Dbl-A
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