If A Plane I'm On Is Going Down, I'm Trying To Smash Something

Yahoo! - LONDON (Reuters) – British Airways apologized to passengers after an emergency message warning they were about to crash into the sea was played by mistake. About 275 passengers were on the London Heathrow to Hong Kong flight on Tuesday evening when the automated message went out. The plane was flying over the North Sea at the time.


As far as "you're completely fucked" moments go, this one has got to take the cake hands down bro. Yep, I'd say when you're traveling at altitudes of 35,000 + feet, and going about 500 Mph, you have zero shot at surviving a plane thats destined to crash. To quote the brilliantly successful idol of The SportsBrah's - Vince Mcmahon - you have NO CHANCE IN HELL.

But, I suppose if you are going to perish via place crash, what the fuck can you even do about it? Absolutely nothing. It's not like you are going to crash into a cloud of Sloan's soft skin and just land, or bounce off Meagan Good's perfectly cushioned dumper only to be propelled safely back in the sky. So other then these miracles - or rather, my sick twisted fantasies occurring while your in a doomed flight, ya done son. Its a wrap! Look at it this way though. Its quick, painless, and a good chance for you to join the mile high club before you incinerate.

Seriously, if I was on this plane and heard this message first thing I would do is frantically try and chug every beer on the flight. Might as well get buck wild loose if the plane is going down. Can the captain thrown on some Daft Punk. "One More Time" seems like it would be appropriate. After all, were all gonna die, and that song brings down the house all day, every day. Boom. Second thing I'm doing, (well while I'm chugging my final brewskis) is scouring the flight for the hottest chicks. Yeah, you can see where I'm going with this one. If I am going to crash and burn on a 767, at least let me get my rocks off one last time. Spot the hot blonde you were eyeing during boarding in row 25. Wow, she does have huge tits, I gotta fuck her. And listen, just because the plane is going down, doesn't mean a woman throws away all of her dignity. Still gotta woo her bro. Baby, were going down in flames, but the last thing I wanna see before I die is my D going into your V. What do you say? The plane may be crashing, but I'm in my element. Banging hot girls and drinking blue moons. Can't be the worst way to go.

-Dbl-A