I Look Like Rambo With My Shirt Off

Let me start off by clearing the air here for everyone. If you were a living, breathing human being with a pulse, you were definitely watching the Jersey Shore when it aired for it's first season at Seaside Heights, NJ. To go a step further, if you didn't find Mike "The Situation" hilarious well then your probably just a self-loathing ginny who can't poke a little fun at himself. I mean, look at me. I fight fire with fire baby. Yes, us I-talians may be greasy, pizza making bastards that live for organized crime but we sure know how to make people sit down and watch us. Marlon Brando, Al Pachino, Robert Di Nero, The Situation. Boom! Fucking showmen. Can't deny these 4 dudes don't have two undeniable things in common. I bet your shaking your head right now, thinking to yourselves "What Dbl-A, you self-absorbed WOP, what the fuck do they have in common?" Well, very simply ladies and gents here they are: You can't stop watching them, and they get shit tons of pussy.

Just look at The Situation here. You think he's caught off guard by the paparazzi trying to snag a pic of him? Titty fucking no he isn't bro. Just look. He's assumed the position that has put him on the 15 minutes of fame map. He's got the biceps yoked, and primed for a shot. Hell, the pic could be hitting Teen People tomorrow, the dude's also gotta have his best Zoolander face on as well. I mean, he basically is the real life Derek Zoolander. Also, you know everywhere he goes he's always on his game. Macking chicks like there's tomorrow. Bars, clubs, the beach, church, the DMV, and of course the Airport. Why do you think that little skank behind him is grinning like the Jonas Brothers are about to spray her with their white foam? Because The Situation already told her the what the Situation is gonna be. Time to join the mile high club Jersey Shore style. Don't you know The Situation has a portable fold up Jacuzzi that he carries with him at all times? It comes out of his suitcase, I thought everyone knew that. Sheesh. He's gonna smash bro. It's what he does. No boy bands gonna get in the way of that. The Jonas Brothers are out of the picture anyway. Vinny and Ronnie already knocked their asses to Timbuktu with only ONE SHOT BABY. Gym, Tan, Smoosh.

-Dbl-A