Someone get Dbl-A some ice cold water immediately because I have a serious thang for Jamie Lynn. So incredibly beautiful, so unbelievably SEXY just kinda sums up this little lady. I basically grew up with her, as I tuned in every Sunday to watch HBO's The Sopranos. After all, it was the greatest show ever bro. Not to mention I'm about as greasy as guineas come. On a Sunday night you could easily find me on the couch, shoveling pasta into my mouth while I rubbed my balls and whispered the opening theme song. You know..."woke up this morning, got yourself a gun." Epic stuff. So, I always thought Jamie was okay and all , but boy she grew up out of nowhere one day. Granted she was always at least a 6, maybe 6.5, but a few years after the show she was strutting around with the stuff of a bona-fide 10 piece. Wammy! The stuff of dick wreckers I say.
However, Jamie isn't just another piece of meat to me. She's a god damn T-bone. If Peter Luger and Bryant and Cooper fucked, then decided to cook steak together - then that's the type of meat I think Jamie Lynn is. The best prime cut. Seriously, she is just such a charming girl. Beautiful almond shaped eyes, long flowing dark hair that you couldn't find your way out of with a GPS, and a smile wider then Rex Ryan's waist line. (Rex Ryan waistline pre-surgery that is.) She has the innocent type of sexy going on. You know, the one where she pulls you into a church confessional just because it's something that always made her randy. How about the fact that she's was born in Queens? Check off another box bro, so was I. Grew up on the mean streets of Long Island? Excuse me while I soil my tight whiteys, but another check in the meantime. Plus, you know she's not a shallow broad cause she dated that doughy fuck Jerry Ferrera. Jeez bro. I'm so crazy for Ms. Sigler, I make the "Mop Lady" look like a sane individual. Speaking of which, if I was Turtle, I would have pulled a mop lady on Mark Sanchez for stealing my girl. Franchise quarterbacks got nothing on a fit of reh-tard rage.
Jamie Lynn Hot Corner one time me bro!
-Dbl-A
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